Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
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You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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