Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I want her autograph on my taint
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize