i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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