i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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