I wanna bring you to show and tell
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
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I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
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I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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