I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
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A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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