I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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