You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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