Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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