I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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