I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize