I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize