Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize