I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You took a bar mat shot.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Drake has all the answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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