did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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