You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My vagina is officially offended.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize