Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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