So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
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Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
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After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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