"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
This is classic penis vs brain.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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