i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize