there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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