Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
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we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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