I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
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you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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