I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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