I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
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He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
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Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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