She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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