so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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