you guys were way drunker than both of me
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize