she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
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For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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