Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Your penis caused this!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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