the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize