I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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