Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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