I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize