I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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