sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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