Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
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so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
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Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize