got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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