love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize