Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
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Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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