What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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