you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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