this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
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he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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