CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize