you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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