Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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