We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
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It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
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If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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