Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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