so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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