i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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